A rambling monologue of one man's views on society, politics, business, environment, consumerism etc. If you want to know which trash can to put this in, "dissident American independent with liberal and tree hugger tendencies" will do.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Not just one day a year
Except a few astronauts, most of you live on this earth 365 days a year.
I'm planning on making a billion dollars, bribing NASA to build me a space-ark, filling it with good breeding stock, and rocketing off to ruthlessly exploit Alpha Centauri Prime after I use up this planet. Just gotta work out the kinks on this cell phone that plugs directly into hind-brain, so you can get the full effect of American Idol, anywhere. Having a little trouble with the interface, is all. Just needs a bit of tweaking. I'll be rich in no time. Any nubile math-majors out there? I'm a bit weak on the calculus, chromosomatically. My Mom chain-smoked Chesterfields when I was in Utero. That's in New Jersey, I think, just outside the Holland Tunnel. Or is it the Lincoln? Bit hazy on the geography, too, I'm afraid. Any breeding stock knows how to read a map? A star map? Like to meet E.T.? Cute bugger, eh? C'mon, this bloody planet is mostly insects and fungus anyway. I say we chuck it. Ad astra per asperin, I say. I have got bloody good linguistic jeans, as you can see. Any takers? One at a time, please.
Ok, maybe some of you who are not astronauts find gravity to be a loose tether as well.
Good luck. You might not get me to buy one of those cell phones since for me, the full effect of American Idol would be a blinding migraine plus strong nausea. I have met two nubile math majors. One I married, the other got away.
It helps if you tie them to something with string. (FYI, something that doesn't move.) That's my theory, anyway.
And HAPPY 100% pure all-natural green renewable global conservationist ecologically sound sustainable organic EARTH DAY buzzwords! Without them, Madison Avenue could never sell three dollar potatoes, cars that only get 40mpg, and oil-soaked politicians to soccer-moms.
you mean tie the math major to something? I'd use hawser if it would do the job but my problem was their math skilz. They were real wizards at numbers and both proved the theorem that two's company and three is a crowd.
4 comments:
I'm planning on making a billion dollars, bribing NASA to build me a space-ark, filling it with good breeding stock, and rocketing off to ruthlessly exploit Alpha Centauri Prime after I use up this planet. Just gotta work out the kinks on this cell phone that plugs directly into hind-brain, so you can get the full effect of American Idol, anywhere. Having a little trouble with the interface, is all. Just needs a bit of tweaking. I'll be rich in no time. Any nubile math-majors out there? I'm a bit weak on the calculus, chromosomatically. My Mom chain-smoked Chesterfields when I was in Utero. That's in New Jersey, I think, just outside the Holland Tunnel. Or is it the Lincoln? Bit hazy on the geography, too, I'm afraid. Any breeding stock knows how to read a map? A star map? Like to meet E.T.? Cute bugger, eh? C'mon, this bloody planet is mostly insects and fungus anyway. I say we chuck it. Ad astra per asperin, I say. I have got bloody good linguistic jeans, as you can see. Any takers? One at a time, please.
Ok, maybe some of you who are not astronauts find gravity to be a loose tether as well.
Good luck.
You might not get me to buy one of those cell phones since for me, the full effect of American Idol would be a blinding migraine plus strong nausea.
I have met two nubile math majors. One I married, the other got away.
It helps if you tie them to something with string. (FYI, something that doesn't move.) That's my theory, anyway.
And HAPPY 100% pure all-natural green renewable global conservationist ecologically sound sustainable organic EARTH DAY buzzwords! Without them, Madison Avenue could never sell three dollar potatoes, cars that only get 40mpg, and oil-soaked politicians to soccer-moms.
you mean tie the math major to something? I'd use hawser if it would do the job but my problem was their math skilz. They were real wizards at numbers and both proved the theorem that two's company and three is a crowd.
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