Once I die, I expect I'll quit fretting about the loss rather promptly. I hope those I leave will do the same.
It is one thing to cope with untoward changes in your world brought on by some event or loss but quite another to revisit the event itself in a mind full of upset thoughts. The happiest people I know are not the richest or the ones who have had the fewest misfortunes but the ones who have the healthiest attachment to the props of their lives; the ones who are best at saying "what can you do?" with a dismissive shrug.
The only losses and events one ought to obsess over are those they can go back and make right.