I have taken a little enforced break from trying to be who I might be to reprise who I once and often and strenuously was.
Now I know. What seemed like engagement was distraction. Even chopping wood and hauling water, done until one falls blistered and bone weary into bed, can be illusion: only the fatigue is real. The purposes get away from you like a bushel of slimy little fish you try to gather in your bare arms. The accomplishements become someone else's and mock your longing backward gaze.
There are moments when I doubt I know anything at all. What chutzpah to write sayings and protest the cruel stupidity of others. These are long dark moments. But truthless is toothless. The truth is slightly more than nothing yet so much simpler than the hungry crowds, the goverments and the godplagued have asked us to believe--I must keep on.
Iran is emboldened to advance its little empire because it watches the US stumble in Iraq and sees clearly that truthless is indeed toothless.
But if I say nothing and Cheney says nothing that is true, how different are we two?