Thursday, June 21, 2007

How not to put a lid on date rape

In Boston, the statistics I have heard on the news are that about one rape case out of every 100 involves a "date rape drug". I don't date any more and I never did like bars so I am probably the last person who should have an opinion. But I agree with the doubters about a proposed requirement that bars in Boston affix a doily-like cover over mixed drinks they serve. One city councilor is arguing for such a regulation.

The TV news "sampled" opinion in its usual way so I heard one woman for it and one against it. From this I know nothing. The bar owners think it is ridiculous. If they make it a customers-choice option, what kind of message would a woman on a date be sending if she tells the waitstaff "I'll take my Margarita with a lid please"? When you date someone you are excruciatingly aware of what impression you are making. Even after the first date, you don't necessarily know how trustworthy and sane a guy is. A guy who is sick enough that he would enjoy sex with a limp semi-conscious woman doesn't seem like he'd win a second date but like I said, its been years since I made any first hand observations of the dating scene. (wouldn't a Viagra+testosterone cocktail be more fun?) What I am getting at here is that even if this protection were an option, many women would have to overcome a strong natural inhibition against using it. I seems unlikely that city councilor has thought through how this would play out in real life. It would be much less obtrusive to slip a little Romazicon into a drink than to order it with a tamper-evident seal. Obtrusive is not good in the dating context if I remember correctly.

Those other 99 rapes? Booze was more likely a factor. And even if benzodiazepine is used, the alcohol increases its effect. And avoid the herb kava-kava if you were planning on dating a guy who looked like he might drug and rape you...[who the hell does that on purpose?]

UPDATE: I found the comments at the ABC website. Commenting is by a self-selected crowd so you always have to take it with a grain of salt but its vastly better grist for the mill than 10 seconds of soundbite from each of a "balanced" pair of "woman in the street" interviewees...pap from the TV. I was surprised by how many commented in favor any such move and found out about much better ideas that have already been tested. And, wouldn't you just know it: some commenter has the rabid patriarchal perspective of the dating game [and the diction]:
Why dont the address the reay problem in the bars -- it is not people rushing over each other to put drugs in drinks - but the real problem is chicks using guys and scamming them into buying them free drinks ... I say they should come up with laws -- any chick who uses guys should be liable!
Posted by:newshopper Jun-21

It is actually that comment, far more than any of the various opinions in favor, that makes me realize why something preventative probably should be available: it demonstrates there are men out there who lug around a self justified anger at a whole category of women...what remains to stop such a man from predatory dating? Perhaps the old saying should be "no such thing as a free drink"?

2 comments:

JahTeh said...

The police have arrested a bloke in Melbourne who, at last count, had drugged and raped at least 16 women and filmed them. The police have appealed to women who went out with him to contact them since they might not know if it happened to them. Apparently they have more films but can't identify the women.
We have a real problem with young women binge drinking at weekends and getting so wasted they don't know what's going on. Then they are the smarties who like to drop a drug into a random drink and watch what happens, filming it on their camera phones.
Call me weird but I don't drink when I'm out.

GreenSmile said...

Much as I like sex, I cannot imagine even wanting to get it that way nor even simply to, well actually to POISON a person like that. Alcohol seems to be trouble enough all by itself as you note. I fancy I hold my liquour pretty well but I actually hate being drunk and scare myself away from the bar if I start to get clumsy. The will to stick with water is lacking but developing it is a project of late.

And by far the scariest thing is that a woman could be unaware of having been used in that way. Justice may be blind but there is no justice where we are blind to the injustice.